Shite
Let me explain...
Out of curiosity today, I checked the stats on my diary. I like to see what phrases people use in search engines to find it. Today, someone typed in C's birthmother's first and last name. It's not a common name, so I'm sure whomever was looking for it was definitely looking up her name.
Freaked my shit out.
First of all, there were several hits for this search all within a matter of about a half-hour or so.
Second of all, I have several entries that mention her name. Barely any, if not none at all, mention anything good about her.
So, I quickly locked my diary, sent usernames and passwords to several regular readers, and then put all the entries that mention her into my private folder. After putting entries that mention her name into my private folder, I unlocked my diary. I'm so paranoid.
I first figured it was most likely C@role, M@rlene, or maybe even C's b-mom herself. But she's not so computer/internet savvy so who knows.
Then I thought maybe it was her ex-boyfriend/father of her two youngest, trying to look her up.
I hope it was just him.
Then I saw the search engine the person used, 411.com/partners.mamma.com, so maybe someone was just looking for her.
In any case, I'm prepared to be shit on again--just in case.
At work, I've got a few possible options.
Option one is to stay in my position as an editor working 2pm-11pm. The plusses to this option are I get to "sleep in" in the morning (if you call sleeping until 8:30am sleeping in. Shut up, Linda! 
), and that the girls are in daycare only part-time. The negatives are that I hate the job and have to work at night when I'd rather be home.
Option two is to work from 3:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. doing the same job I am right now. The plusses are I get off right after noon, letting me have the rest of the day to do stuff that needs to be done, the job is easier than at night, I like the morning co-workers more than the evening crew, and the girls are still in daycare part-time. About the only negative is that I have to wake up extremely early.
Option three is to apply for the open position of Assistant Assignment Editor, working 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. The plusses are that the work schedule is fairly normal, allows me to be home in the evening, and it's something new. The only negative I can think of right now is that the girls will be in daycare full-time, meaning we'd be paying more for it. I don't know if I'd get a raise with the new position that would help offset that cost, and if we'd really want the girls in full-time care anyway.
Now mind you, neither option 2 nor 3 has been offered to me yet. I haven't even talked with the assistant news director about option 3 yet.
These plusses and minuses are with just hubby, the girls, and I in the mix. Add in the future baby we've been talking about, and it changes everything.
If a baby is added to the mix, option one would mean hubby would be home alone with three kids at night, something he does not want to do. Option two would mean a lot less sleep for me, just like right after M was born and I was working the same shift. But it would also mean I'd be home when C comes home from school. Option three would mean I wouldn't be home when she'd come home from school--that's a whole 'nother quandary. (What do working women do about after-school care? I mean, most working mothers aren't home when their kids get out of school.) All three options wouldn't necessarily mean more spent on daycare because we're timing it so that the baby is born right around the time when C starts Kindergarten.
This morning was a fairly busy one. The girls woke up early and so did I, so we took a shower before dropping M off at preschool.
Then C and I ran a few errands. We picked up a prescription from the hospital, paid rent at the storage place, and went to Michael's and Partycraft to buy supplies for M's 2nd birthday party coming up soon.
Then we picked up M, picked up my sister and her two girls, and had lunch at McDonald's. I thought she was leaving tomorrow morning, which is why I asked her if she wanted to meet for lunch before I left for work, because I probably wouldn't be able to see them before they left.
Turns out, they're not leaving until Monday morning. Our mom and stepdad's fishing (out of town) plans changed because they couldn't find a sitter for their dog and mom couldn't get people to trade shifts with her at work, and step-dad couldn't find a rental car in Denver when they would be going with them Monday (Mom works for the airlines, gives sis a couple buddy passes, and so has to fly with her--buddy pass rules). Somehow, their fishing plans were tied up with my sister's plans for leaving. Something about stepdad didn't want to fish on the weekend because it would be extremely crowded. I dunno, I didn't really understand. I was only half-listening when my sister told me what was going on because I had to keep one eye on the girls who were playing in McDonald's play area.
So after lunch, I dropped them off at Mom's, took the girls to the sitter, and came to work, where I got my check for $3000 as a loan from my 401(k) plan. We told the administrator it was a loan to help pay for hubby's medical bills. But money's been tight lately, and we're planning on moving at the end of August, so we're going to put it in our checking account and use it little by little. I can use some of it to pay the student loan I haven't been paying for a few months. One more thing off my financial worry checklist.
No matter how much I threaten and punish C for sneaking into our bedroom to sleep on the floor, she still does it. Negative reinforcement sometimes doesn't work with her. So I switched to bribery positive reinforcement. I told her I'd give her a sticker if she'd sleep in her own room all night long. She did last night, so I gave her a sticker today.
I'm offering M the same bribe incentive for staying dry all night long. She did last night, but I never got the time to give her a sticker today. She's been staying dry for a few night in a row, then will wet, so it's not like she's wetting her pullup every night. It just wouldn't be fair to give C a sticker and not one to M, so it's a fair offer, doncha think?
Well, this is pretty long-winded. Had a lot to say this time. But now I'm done. I'll let you all know if the shit hits the fan.
< For your ponderance | Since LAST Wednesday
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Wednesday, Oct. 06, 2004
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